Things I Hate - A Comedic Rantesse

[jamesp]

I appear to need to have a Customer Relationship Manager as one of my customers today asked me "why are you being such a knob?" The shortened, ploite version of my reply was "I am a knob because your boss hasn't paid his bill and until such time that he does, in full, I shall retain the barriers that I have here that you want. The rules that apply here are "Possessory Lien" - have a print off about that - In the meantime if you don't leave within 3 minutes I will call the police."

They got on the phone and left a few minutes later.

All I ask is that people pay for work done and stick to the agreed deal - cash when collecting the goods. It isn't complicated - pay.

All the best to you all

Jay the Knob

I was once asked "why are you chasing this invoice?, it`s only three months!"

A customer was once getting arsey over paying a very petty bill, I called in their place to chase it up.
I ended up being threatened with the police, so I gave them the number for the front desk of the local nick.
Then they decided I was being threatening (there were four of them and one of me).
The guy then said "I cant afford it, what are you going to do about it?"

I said, "`phone the official receiver and inform him that you are trading whilst insolvent"

I got paid on the spot.

I know someone who dropped the bucket of a digger through (yes through) a portakabin office of a client that was refusing to pay.

[Neilwood]

I appear to need to have a Customer Relationship Manager as one of my customers today asked me "why are you being such a knob?" The shortened, ploite version of my reply was "I am a knob because your boss hasn't paid his bill and until such time that he does, in full, I shall retain the barriers that I have here that you want. The rules that apply here are "Possessory Lien" - have a print off about that - In the meantime if you don't leave within 3 minutes I will call the police."

They got on the phone and left a few minutes later.

All I ask is that people pay for work done and stick to the agreed deal - cash when collecting the goods. It isn't complicated - pay.

All the best to you all

Jay the Knob

I would say you have the perfect customer relationship manager - with customers like that, you don't really want them coming back (unless they have the money with them).

[nigel hewitt]

Jay the Knob

It's not just the outstanding bill messing up your cash flow it's the incredible amount of your time that they waste that could be spent doing something productive.

I'm not safe to be left in charge at Combro.
My brother leaves me a list of things not to do rather than things to do.
Running the company is easy and our people are wonderful. It's the customers and the suppliers I end up wanting to kill.
Our capital budget for this year is dominated by equipment to bring simple jobs in house so nobody can hold us to ransom on time schedules to accept inferior product.

[Jay_Benson]

The time is a pain but it breaks the monotony. I do like the idea of contacting the official receipt we and dropping the trading while insolvent bomb. See if that makes any odds. I suspect that it might be too near the truth so ineffective.

[Ian@1904]

https://www.gov.uk/wind-up-a-company...owes-you-money
I have not had to use the winding up approach for some time. But an argument where "we can stop you trading" seems to have more effect than "we will sue you"

[jamesp]

https://www.gov.uk/wind-up-a-company...owes-you-money
I have not had to use the winding up approach for some time. But an argument where "we can stop you trading" seems to have more effect than "we will sue you"

Only tried that once, we were chasing about £9k.

They beat us to it by calling the receivers in, the morning of the court case.

They went for £43 million!

[nigel hewitt]

Ho hum...
It's only a small 50W LED garden floodlight.
It's going up to replace the 400W Halogen that has gone flickery.
It doesn't even weigh a kilo.

So why are the mounting holes all 10mm?
You can hang a car on a couple of 10mm bolts.

No penny washers in the box so it's a saw and drill job on an off-cut of metal strip.
Another simple job made complicated for no reason.

[steelemonkey]

Ho hum...
It's only a small 50W LED garden floodlight.
It's going up to replace the 400W Halogen that has gone flickery.
It doesn't even weigh a kilo.

So why are the mounting holes all 10mm?
You can hang a car on a couple of 10mm bolts.

No penny washers in the box so it's a saw and drill job on an off-cut of metal strip.
Another simple job made complicated for no reason.

You don't have a box of assorted washers in your shed/workshop? I am very dissapointed in you Mr Hewitt.

[jamesp]

Ho hum...
It's only a small 50W LED garden floodlight.
It's going up to replace the 400W Halogen that has gone flickery.
It doesn't even weigh a kilo.

So why are the mounting holes all 10mm?
You can hang a car on a couple of 10mm bolts.

No penny washers in the box so it's a saw and drill job on an off-cut of metal strip.
Another simple job made complicated for no reason.

Its the latitude of error required for most diy bods to get 2x 4mm holes in the right postcode.

[Paulo]

I have said it before and I will say it again, I hate painting! Why the hell anyone does this for a living is beyond me!