Not even buying a sandwich.
Take that capitalism!!
"...are we human, or are we diver?"
Yodel lying bastards said attempted to deliver but nobody in. Now have to wait in tomorrow when they claim they will be delivering.
Unwrap a lot of things in sealed wrappers.
End up with a big pile of wrappers on my desk.
Do stuff with the things.
Look at pile of wrappers...
It's a big pile.
Start picking them up with my right hand and stuffing them in my left hand.
They compress quite well so I can hold lots.
Finally get them all.
Carry them to the bin.
Put my hand over the bin and let go.
Well some of them went in the bin.
Start picking them up....
Helium, because I'm worth it.
Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounded like a radical holiday opportunity until I looked it up.
Have you ever noticed the number of times that "things lobbed in the bin" result in rim shots and bounce off to all corners?
Given the area of the bin aperture, and the area around the bin to miss completely, hitting such a small target with such regularity must indicate a high degree of skill.
The Post Office or Royal Mail or whatever logo they are using nowadays.
Despite opting out of the unaddressed junk mail several times, it still keeps getting rammed through my door.
I complained on line last September and was sent another form. Still getting this sh@t.
I think I will save it up and dump it on their counter once I have a bin bag full.
If God had meant us to breathe underwater, he would have given us larger bank balances.
Human beings were invented by water as a means of moving itself from one place to another.
I've recently changed energy suppliers. The old supplier has taken my final meter readings and seemingly plucked a number out of their arse for the final balance. I've just spent an extremely frustrating hour on the phone to customer services who were entirely unable to explain where the figure came from and what had happened to the DD payment in November that doesn't appear on the bill. Just like last Saturday. Looks like a call to the ombudsman is on the cards.