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  1. #32091
    Hail the Children of LLyr
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    Quote Originally Posted by steelemonkey View Post
    Forget bagpipes, that brickwork needs pointing.
    Nah, perfect for solitary and masonry bees.
    "...are we human, or are we diver?"

  2. #32092
    Established TDF Member steelemonkey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noggin the Nog View Post
    Nah, perfect for solitary and masonry bees.
    Ah! You must have read my best seller.

    1001 excuses for not doing chores.
    Available from all imaginary booksellers.

    Including all the greats like:
    "Don't cut the grass too soon in the year, it allows the wild flowers time to come up."
    "Don't cut the grass too late in the year, it allows the wild plants to seed."
    "Don't cut the friggin grass at all, it lets the ground birds forage in peace."
    "Leave the hegdes uncut, the birds nest in there."
    "Leave the willow uncut, the tits feed on the caterpillers."
    "Ignore the nettles, the butterflies feed on it."
    "Don't prune the roses, the birds eat the aphids."
    "Don't dig up the anthills, they farm the aphids."

    And of course "Leave the masonry crumbly, the invertebrates think it is an apartment block."





    You think yours is bad.
    Paul.
    If God had meant us to breathe underwater, he would have given us larger bank balances.
    Human beings were invented by water as a means of moving itself from one place to another.

  3. #32093
    Pedantic Pig Divemouse's Avatar
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    Speaking of which, the ants have yet again broken into the kitchen - seems very early in the year. Nothing to be done about it, the walls of the house are made of poo and sticks, so completely hollow.
    She said you know honey it's such a shame You'll never be any good at this game You bruise too easily

  4. #32094
    Established TDF Member steelemonkey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Divemouse View Post
    Speaking of which, the ants have yet again broken into the kitchen - seems very early in the year. Nothing to be done about it, the walls of the house are made of poo and sticks, so completely hollow.
    Aaargh, that be the loife in rural Suffolk. My grandad bilt that 'ouse. Made the poo 'iself ee did.
    Paul.
    If God had meant us to breathe underwater, he would have given us larger bank balances.
    Human beings were invented by water as a means of moving itself from one place to another.

  5. #32095
    Established TDF Member steelemonkey's Avatar
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    My new incinerator from Aldi is great fun.
    You fill it with cardboard, garden waste etc, pour petrol over it, put the lid on, drop a lighted match through the chimney and see how high/ far the lid goes.
    Funny thing about eyebrows, you never really notice them until they are gone.
    Paul.
    If God had meant us to breathe underwater, he would have given us larger bank balances.
    Human beings were invented by water as a means of moving itself from one place to another.

  6. #32096
    Confused? You will be. Jay_Benson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by steelemonkey View Post
    My new incinerator from Aldi is great fun.
    You fill it with cardboard, garden waste etc, pour petrol over it, put the lid on, drop a lighted match through the chimney and see how high/ far the lid goes.
    Funny thing about eyebrows, you never really notice them until they are gone.
    I was at work today running the dipping oven which is at around 380C - whilst I still have eyebrows my hair is a little shorter at the sides where my cap doesn’t cover and my beard is also a little shorter. I had almost forgotten the lovely smell of burnt hair.
    For information to help you plan your dive trip in the UK and Eire try www.planyourdivetrip.co.uk

    Public transport planning info at www.traveline.info

  7. #32097
    Established TDF Member steelemonkey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay_Benson View Post
    I was at work today running the dipping oven which is at around 380C - whilst I still have eyebrows my hair is a little shorter at the sides where my cap doesn’t cover and my beard is also a little shorter. I had almost forgotten the lovely smell of burnt hair.
    I like the way my beard gets little curly bits.
    Are you isolating yourself at work? Living in fibre glass luxury?
    Paul.
    If God had meant us to breathe underwater, he would have given us larger bank balances.
    Human beings were invented by water as a means of moving itself from one place to another.

  8. #32098
    Hail the Children of LLyr
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    Quote Originally Posted by steelemonkey View Post
    Yes tensions are high and will get higher. And you are thinking of bringing more bagpipes into the world................
    I can just imagine the news."And the local police chief said the crowds were angry but they were just managing to maintain control until some maniac pulled out his bagpipes!"
    It's the first time I've had someone attempt to insult me by calling me a "Chris Packham supporting Guardian reader" I may use that as my signature.
    "...are we human, or are we diver?"

  9. #32099
    Established TDF Member Chrisch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noggin the Nog View Post
    It's the first time I've had someone attempt to insult me by calling me a "Chris Packham supporting Guardian reader" I may use that as my signature.
    A badge, surely, to be worn with pride?

  10. #32100
    Established TDF Member nigel hewitt's Avatar
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    What this job really needed was a couple of pals to hold the ends, it is over 4m long.
    But, thanks to the big Corona, I'm Billy-no-mates for a couple of months.
    Darn it! I have cup-hooks, I have gaffer tape and I have string.
    This curtain track is going up.
    Helium, because I'm worth it.
    Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounded like a radical holiday opportunity until I looked it up.


 

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