Tell us something TRIVIAL about your life

[steelemonkey]

That's the problem with our house - the cement render over the breeze block must have been about a 30:1 mix. Removing wallpaper caused about a metere square chunk to fall off when we redecorated the staircase.

We've also had a couple of years when every domestic appliance has failed - fridge/freezer, washing machine, tumble drier, dishwasher, microwave, toaster, PVR and now the cooker last week. Keeping our fingers crossed that our 14 year old TV keeps going.

Cement? You're lucky. Mine seems to be coarse grit and stones held together with spit. The internal "plaster" is mainly horse hair! And as for the lathe and plaster ceilings.......don't get me started on that.

[Divemouse]

We live in cardboard box in't middle of road. Our house is roughly 400 years old and some idiot put concrete render all over the outside in the 1980s. Sometimes bits of it shear off. Somebody also built an extension out the back over a thatched roof, it's still under the floorboards.

[Jay_Benson]

One thing we have learnt the hard (and expensive) way is not to buy a house that has been extended by accountants. Rarely have I seen so many examples of people knowing the price of everything and the value of nothing. For example armoured cable counts as armoured cable if you put the power cable in an old hosepipe. A power cable going under a drive don’t need the protection of a hosepipe. Floors in bathrooms don’t need 10mm marine ply, 7mm ordinary ply is fine. Insulation from strips of old towels and newspaper is better than that cheap foam purpose made insulation. Gas pipes are best left covered by 2mm of plaster when running behind a hot stove and into the chimney space. There is no need to have a fireproof barriers around gas flues - plasterboard is fine. Cellars don’t need ventilation.

Some “features” could have been picked up if the survey had been anal but most were hidden. We enter each job in the house with a certain level of trepidation, wondering how they cut corners on this job - to be fair, they were very imaginative.

[steelemonkey]

We live in cardboard box in't middle of road. Our house is roughly 400 years old and some idiot put concrete render all over the outside in the 1980s. Sometimes bits of it shear off. Somebody also built an extension out the back over a thatched roof, it's still under the floorboards.

"Well I say house but it is really just some sticks covered in mud, but it is a house to us."

[Tim Digger]

"Well I say house but it is really just some sticks covered in CONCRETE, but it is a house to us."

Pay attention!

[cazyoung]

One of the dogs (the hairy one naturally) rolled in some fox poo this morning on our walk rendering her totally toxic and necessitating a B A T H. Slung her in the shower and got to work with the shampoo. The hair from the dog clogged the drain so I had to clean out the trap. In clearing the trap I washed the shampoo residue out which blocked the sink. I then had to dismantle the sink trap to clear it of all kinds of horrors. I feel like the Flanders and Swann song about the gas man! 2 hours later relative calm is restored but the washing machine is on overload washing the towels I had to use to catch all the water.

Bu**er that is a b*tch. Been there done that and you have my sympathies. Fox poo is the stinkiest of stinky!!

[1st Ade]

One thing we have learnt the hard (and expensive) way is not to buy a house that has been extended by accountants. Rarely have I seen so many examples of people knowing the price of everything and the value of nothing. For example armoured cable counts as armoured cable if you put the power cable in an old hosepipe. A power cable going under a drive don’t need the protection of a hosepipe. Floors in bathrooms don’t need 10mm marine ply, 7mm ordinary ply is fine. Insulation from strips of old towels and newspaper is better than that cheap foam purpose made insulation. Gas pipes are best left covered by 2mm of plaster when running behind a hot stove and into the chimney space. There is no need to have a fireproof barriers around gas flues - plasterboard is fine. Cellars don’t need ventilation.

Some “features” could have been picked up if the survey had been anal but most were hidden. We enter each job in the house with a certain level of trepidation, wondering how they cut corners on this job - to be fair, they were very imaginative.

You missed: -
* Cables run the shortest distance between two points even if that means diagonally across where someone might logically want a shelf...
* Using twin and earth as three core - I mean, light switches don't need earthing do they?

[Divemouse]

Who needs a drain pipe attached to the bath overflow when lots of screwed up newspaper is available?

[steelemonkey]

Bu**er that is a b*tch. Been there done that and you have my sympathies. Fox poo is the stinkiest of stinky!!

Did you need a bath afterwards?

[F.P.]

>>Snip<< is not to buy >>Snip<< that has been>>Snip<< 'developed' by accountants. Rarely have I seen so many examples of people knowing the price of everything and the value of nothing. >>Snip<<

Don't know your business but seemingly having accountants have a hand in any development (housing, cars, 'boys toys') using cheaper/less materials to cut costs is a British disease. (mind you - with my experience of VW's the Germans aren't much better!)

[Divemouse]

Guess who just tried to throw themselves out of an open upstairs window while standing on a chair to clean mould off the ceiling and was only saved by catching her hair in the old curtain hooks? That sodding well hurt! I was so obsessed with not falling down the stairs behind me that I didn't think about the window.

[Energy58]

You missed: -
* Cables run the shortest distance between two points even if that means diagonally across where someone might logically want a shelf...
* Using twin and earth as three core - I mean, light switches don't need earthing do they?

We bought a house off "Stan Stan the chipboard man" who claimed to be an aircraft engineer (God knows who for)!

I can add to the above:

An 7kW electric shower connected with 2.5mm T&E into the lighting circuit (I found that only after using it for a few months)
A floor which we knew was "a bit spongy" which turned out to be supported only by the sheets of chipboard that he had screwed onto the top of the floorboards, the ends of the joists in the outside wall having rotted away entirely
The chimney breast upstairs supported only by fresh air as he had demolished the downstairs one without making any arrangements to hold the rest of the house up (that caused the builder a few "moments" - "go get an acrow prop quick - but don't run down the stairs...")
A fix for rising damp involving screwing chipboard over the plaster and decorating over it - he was big on chipboard

[Energy58]

We live in cardboard box in't middle of road. Our house is roughly 400 years old and some idiot put concrete render all over the outside in the 1980s. Sometimes bits of it shear off. Somebody also built an extension out the back over a thatched roof, it's still under the floorboards.

I have seen some absolute horrors on our search for a house. We looked at a similar-aged thatched cottage in Dorset where the old lean-to catslide roof made of corrugated iron was still there - under the new slate roof - and visible from within the alleged kitchen if you looked carefully. Felt sorry for the owners - they had bought it for a massively overpriced £475k 15 years ago, lived in a building site for years after they uncovered a load of horrors, spent £200k on it and ran out of money fixing it (which still needed another £200k spent to finish it) in a village where similar houses still go for £475k. It had been to auction I think 3 times when we looked at it and never reached the reserve - I think its probably unmortgageable too as they no longer have a kitchen.

[Adrian]

Don't know your business but seemingly having accountants have a hand in any development (housing, cars, 'boys toys') using cheaper/less materials to cut costs is a British disease. (mind you - with my experience of VW's the Germans aren't much better!)

Ah, 'value engineering'.

[divechick]

Guess who just tried to throw themselves out of an open upstairs window while standing on a chair to clean mould off the ceiling and was only saved by catching her hair in the old curtain hooks? That sodding well hurt! I was so obsessed with not falling down the stairs behind me that I didn't think about the window.

I'd ask if you're safe to go out on your own but seems you're not safe staying in either my friend!!!