(I've got a couple of fuck ups to share from a while back, subject to best efforts of a booze addled memory)
Diving as a guest off a RHIB with an unknown skipper, I think we had slightly missed slack or maybe there was a bit of surface current.
Kitting up on the unfamiliar RHIB was not too much of an event, 2x7l bail outs went on fine. Gave the skipper the word that I was ready to splash in and a minute or so later he'd motored us around to the buoy (surely nicely upstream of it...) and shouted go. I rolled over the side and it was a very strange feeling to drop right on top of the fking buoy! It went behind my legs and flicked them up into a full backward roll, tanks rattled everywhere in the general bewilderment and I got myself back the right way up looking for the buoy. Sods law that I'd popped up facing 180 degrees out from it, I turned and started swimming, just below the surface with no problem getting what I felt was maximum power from my kicks. I knew I'd splashed in with 0.95 po2 so wasn't overly concerned about that but gave a few extra squirts on the MAV just in case. After maybe a minute or so of maximum effort swimming (maybe some WOB effects from being so near/breaking the surface?) I was bollocksed.
There was a big part of me thought "if you can just cop hold of the line and have a minute, you'll be right", but the line wasn't getting any nearer despite being tantalisingly close.
So bugger it, off back to the surface we go. Waved to the boat and they came over and asked if I wanted to have another go at it, I don't think I realised at the time just how hard I was actually breathing but in retrospect I definitely should have completely binned it here.
So it was decided to tow me back up current of the shot. I got hold of the rope on the side of the sponson waiting for a nice gentle pootle back up to the - wait what? Holy sh*t he's got about 3500rpms on! Now I've never before analysed the planing properties of a brittanic suit, a botched together ccr and a pair of side mounts (backwards!) but I can tell you now they are not exactly great. I was rather worried at this point that my legs were flailing about rather close to the pair of 100hp egg whisks and if I let go of the boat I'd be straight under them.
Some frantic hand signals what felt like eventually managed to convince Jeremy bastard Clarkson to ease off on the loud handles, and in between breaths (breathing rate still high) I closed the loop and said "I say old chaps, I've rather had enough of this diving lark for one morning and would like to reembark the vessel." I had a few minutes bobbing about and got breathing under control and then dekitted in the water and got back aboard.
Later that day I had a killer headache, hadn't noticed any other symptoms other than very hard breathing that seemed to take longer to recover than it usually would from harsh exercise (like going up a hill on the mountain bike or similar)
So overall, an annoying fk up with a few lessons to learn. A non-event? Maybe.
-Be very wary of unknown skippers. I had got complacent after several years diving with very good skippers. (And really, how fking hard can it be to see what direction current is running and drop someone upwind of it?)
-Look where you're going to drop before you drop (Seriously, how long have I been at this?)
-I had a perfectly serviceable BOV, attached to a tank full of 20/30. Why did I not go on to it? Being too much of a tight git to use trimix on the surface possibly played a part. (it was a bit lumpy on the surface to just take the loop out) This was silly.
-Buddy diving adds a pressure to me that I don't like. It's new to me since getting together with my partner. If I'd been solo I'd probably have shitcanned the dive a lot sooner (as I knew if I didn't dive then she was diving with a buddy on a single tank and getting a shit bottom time rather than the plan). One of those things that shouldn't be a problem but I don't like to let people down.
-Do not try and water ski from the side of a RHIB while wearing dive gear.