Was talking to a mate at Christmas.
He said he was sick of his wife and did I know anyone who could get rid of her for him? I give him Arti's phone number, and left him to it. Apparently, Arti arranged to get rid of her when she did her shopping at the supermarket on New Year's Eve, for just £1. Sadly, Arti is a bit short-sighted, and he strangled the wrong woman! My mate put him right, but incredibly he got the wrong woman again. Finally, he got it right at the third attempt, but didn't see the police coming to arrest him.
The headline in last week's paper? "Artichokes, 3 for a pound at local supermarket."