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Thread: Joke of the day

  1. #2451
    Established WTF Member Spirit of Guernsey's Avatar
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    I dreamt that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.

    I was, like, 0mg!
    There are four varieties in society: the lovers, the ambitious, observers and fools. The fools are the happiest.
    Hippolyte Taine – French critic and historian (1828-93)

  2. #2452
    Established WTF Member Spirit of Guernsey's Avatar
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    Went to the worst pub ever today called The Fiddle.

    What a vile inn!!
    There are four varieties in society: the lovers, the ambitious, observers and fools. The fools are the happiest.
    Hippolyte Taine – French critic and historian (1828-93)

  3. #2453
    Established TDF Member Paulo's Avatar
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    What do you get if you cross Bill Clinton and Donald Trump?

    Found unreaponsive in your cell.
    Remember anything you read on the internet was probably written by some guy sitting at home in his underpants! Including this !!

    Illegitimi non carborundum

  4. #2454
    Established WTF Member Spirit of Guernsey's Avatar
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    I said to the baker
    “How come all your cakes are 50p and that one’s £1?”

    He said
    “That’s Madeira cake”
    There are four varieties in society: the lovers, the ambitious, observers and fools. The fools are the happiest.
    Hippolyte Taine – French critic and historian (1828-93)

  5. #2455
    Prior Member Tim Digger's Avatar
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    Yes we really do need a groan button!
    Evolution is great at solving problems. It's the methods that concern me.
    Tim Digger

  6. #2456
    Established TDF Member Firefly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tim Digger View Post
    Yes we really do need a groan button!
    . . . . . . . . . . . . Unfortunately it's silent!

  7. #2457
    Hail the Children of LLyr
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    Quote Originally Posted by Firefly View Post
    . . . . . . . . . . . . Unfortunately it's silent!
    Or maybe someone could come up with a button that release a jet of water on the miscreant.......

    Oh, wait. That's on another thread.
    "...are we human, or are we diver?"

  8. #2458
    Prior Member Tim Digger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noggin the Nog View Post
    Or maybe someone could come up with a button that release a jet of water on the miscreant.......

    Oh, wait. That's on another thread.
    And sadly requires a degree of VR not yet available. But imagine the potential for drowning when it goes viral!!!!!!!!!
    Evolution is great at solving problems. It's the methods that concern me.
    Tim Digger

  9. #2459
    Established TDF Member Paulo's Avatar
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    My wife has just told me that Gavin from 'Autoglass ' came round and injected his special resin into her crack - I'm not normally suspicious , but she hasn't even got a car.
    Remember anything you read on the internet was probably written by some guy sitting at home in his underpants! Including this !!

    Illegitimi non carborundum

  10. #2460
    Confused? You will be. Jay_Benson's Avatar
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    I tell my friends I'm here for them 24/7 because it sounds better than saying I'm only here for them on 24 July.
    For information to help you plan your dive trip in the UK and Eire try www.planyourdivetrip.co.uk

    Public transport planning info at www.traveline.info


 

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