Hello and welcome to our community! Is this your first visit?
Register
Page 241 of 251 FirstFirst ... 141191231239240241242243 ... LastLast
Results 2,401 to 2,410 of 2508

Thread: Joke of the day

  1. #2401
    TDF Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Location
    Pontypridd
    Posts
    47
    Likes (Given)
    10
    Likes (Received)
    10
    What's the difference between a large pizza and a Padi instructor..................

    A pizza can feed a family of 4

  2. #2402
    TDF Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    South Midlands
    Posts
    137
    Likes (Given)
    113
    Likes (Received)
    117
    We ordered a Chinese takeaway from a local place (I won't name them). I went to pick it up and as I was driving home, I heard the bags rustling and moving!! I thought what the hell is that? Has something got in the bag? I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out at me. I was driving, so I slowly leaned forward, picked up the bag and carefully put it on the passenger seat, and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out behind the prawn crackers. I thought it's got to be a rat or a mouse or something because of what's been in the news lately about local take-aways and food ratings, so I carefully pulled the bag down ...
    And there it was ...

    ... A Peeking Duck!!!

  3. #2403
    Established WTF Member Spirit of Guernsey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Guernsey
    Posts
    6,747
    Likes (Given)
    4294
    Likes (Received)
    5229
    Man goes into a pub.

    The barman says "We dont serve exotic fruit here."
    There are four varieties in society: the lovers, the ambitious, observers and fools. The fools are the happiest.
    Hippolyte Taine French critic and historian (1828-93)

  4. #2404
    Prior Member Tim Digger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    West Midlands UK
    Posts
    3,879
    Likes (Given)
    2492
    Likes (Received)
    2879
    I'm still thinking about that one?
    Evolution is great at solving problems. It's the methods that concern me.
    Tim Digger

  5. #2405
    Remember, remember Adrian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Exeter
    Posts
    1,982
    Likes (Given)
    1085
    Likes (Received)
    758
    Quote Originally Posted by Tim Digger View Post
    I'm still thinking about that one?
    Remove a space...

  6. #2406
    Prior Member Tim Digger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    West Midlands UK
    Posts
    3,879
    Likes (Given)
    2492
    Likes (Received)
    2879
    Ah. Nah.
    Evolution is great at solving problems. It's the methods that concern me.
    Tim Digger

  7. #2407
    Established TDF Member steelemonkey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Too far from the sea!
    Posts
    8,974
    Likes (Given)
    2463
    Likes (Received)
    5256
    Quote Originally Posted by Tim Digger View Post
    I'm still thinking about that one?
    Quote Originally Posted by Adrian View Post
    Remove a space...
    Quote Originally Posted by Tim Digger View Post
    Ah. Nah.
    Still lost.
    Paul.
    If God had meant us to breathe underwater, he would have given us larger bank balances.
    Human beings were invented by water as a means of moving itself from one place to another.

  8. #2408
    Established TDF Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Liverpool UK
    Posts
    685
    Likes (Given)
    610
    Likes (Received)
    299
    Quote Originally Posted by steelemonkey View Post
    Still lost.
    why do we have to put up with SOG's jokes i say we pitchfork him and burn him on the stake

  9. #2409
    Established TDF Member steelemonkey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Too far from the sea!
    Posts
    8,974
    Likes (Given)
    2463
    Likes (Received)
    5256
    Quote Originally Posted by Alby R View Post
    why do we have to put up with SOG's jokes i say we pitchfork him and burn him on the stake
    Ooooh yes.

    nearest gas station to my location right now
    Paul.
    If God had meant us to breathe underwater, he would have given us larger bank balances.
    Human beings were invented by water as a means of moving itself from one place to another.

  10. #2410
    Established TDF Member steelemonkey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Too far from the sea!
    Posts
    8,974
    Likes (Given)
    2463
    Likes (Received)
    5256
    How come I got a random link as well?
    Paul.
    If God had meant us to breathe underwater, he would have given us larger bank balances.
    Human beings were invented by water as a means of moving itself from one place to another.


 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •