12 go bad in Scapa or isn't MV Valkyrie a wonderful boat. V V V long

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This is a trip report I originally posted on YD. It's my own work and I own the copyright to it.

This has taken an age to come together, partly because I’ve been up to my ears in it and partly because I’ve been waiting for CC to send me his version of the events. To date I’ve not received them so he can chip in with his own version as and when he sees fit
Herein follows the a brief report of our trip to Scapa. The names have been changed to protect the guilty. 

Friday 14th September

12:30 Damn! Running late, very bloody late. Timesheet not completed and I have to get round to pick up Scrappy Doo, El Presidente and Wee Pete. Sod it pack the laptop and do it later. Last minute rush round to do the last minute pack. All done and it’s off to the local garage to fill up to the gunwhales with fuel for the road trip. Just as I finish filling up Anthony (the garage owner) sticks the price up a penny a litre. “oi you just cost me an extra 60p”!

Then it’s off to Wee Pete. He’s rushing out the door as I arrive. “You’re keen then”! El Presidente also emerges as I arrive and drops his bags in the boot whilst calling shotgun for the entire journey “Well it’s me knees you see”! Finally round to Scrappy Doo’s and a game of musical bags and coats until the boot is stuffed to bursting then we’re on our way.
The route will take us from Weymouth to Edinburgh for leg 1 where we meet up with Gentleman Jules, stay overnight before heading to Scrabster the following morning. Tufty is already rumoured to be near Carlisle with our kit. I’ve got some miles to put down and I want to get past Birmingham before the rush hour starts.

The journey is long and dull. Stop start all the way to Stafford Services. Scrappy Doo makes contact with Gentleman Jules to find out what time the kitchen closes in the hotel. The answer comes back that the chef knocks off at 10pm. It’s going to be touch and go getting there and the stop start traffic is getting frustrating.

Then suddenly the road opens up and it’s time to put some serious miles behind me. Six miles from Edinburgh and a text comes through from Gentleman Jules. Are we in Scotland yet?! “We’ll see you in 10 minutes, get the beers in!
We arrive just before 10pm. It’s been a white knuckle ride but we’re here, I’ll find out if I still have a licence in a couple of weeks! A Chicken Makhani and a cold beer or two later and it’s time to turn in for the night.

Saturday 15th September

We get up and head down to breakfast. All you can eat breakfast, a main meal and a beer for dinner and a room for the night all for less than £30 can’t be bad! Well done Travelodge Learmonth. We load up on breakfast and I make a cheeky sausage and bacon sarnie for the road then we’re off but not before playing musical bags and coats again. We squeeze everything in and then get Gentleman Jules, Wee Pete and Scrappy Doo into the back and are on the road by 9am. Several hours later we’ll discover why Wee Pete looks in pain.

We stop off at Inverness, grab a coffee and have a pit stop in B&Q before heading on our way. The scenery becomes more picturesque with each mile and roads get narrower. Eyes are peeled for seals everytime we cross over or pass near water but we see none. The one blott on the landscape is the turbines. Row upon row of these white monstrosities standing like whirling sentries and ruining an otherwise eye achingly beautiful view....or complementing it if that’s the way you roll!

As we pull in for our last pit stop Wee Pete looks as though he’ll pass out and El Presidente complains the air con is on too high. It transpires that Wee Pete has had one cheek on the seat and the other on the door (looks like it’s a bit cramped in the back)!.

Finally sometime around 1430 we arrive in Scrabster. We now have 4 ½ hours until the ferry leaves. We meet up with Tufty, Nicey, Treddie, Smashie and Von Biggus at the Ferry Inn and chill. Nicey quickly earns his first nickname of “The Interrogator” with his deft cross examination of all comers. I swear he’s ex-intelligence!

A short while later we’re joined by 2/3 of the Calamities. Sadly Canine Calamity will not be joining us on this journey but then I think it might be a full boat with two canines on board!

Time drifts on and before too long we’re a whirlwind of activity trying to get everything loaded into the shipping containers (the ferry was late getting into port but is determined to leave on time) so that’s a single twelve, 6 twinsets, 15 stages, 4 rebreathers, 10 crates, 14 drysuit bags (some did bring more than 1!) and a variety of kit bags, sofnolime drums and clothes bags. Two containers aren’t quite enough really and it’s a bit of a squeeze but we manage. Wee Pete earns his nickname and we meet Yappydog whilst waiting for the containers to arrive. Containers loaded we’re told we have 5 minutes to check in and board.

We make it and the ferry heads off to Stromness whilst we settle down to a well earned pint or two.

Around 2030 the ferry docks and we disembark. We’re told to head round the back of the building to collect the containers and sure enough they’re just being unloaded as we arrive.

All 12 of us muck in pushing and pulling said containers to the dock where Valkyrie is moored. I’d like to say my team won but a slight oversight in navigation on my part meant our lead was well and truly overturned so I got the short straw of taking one of the empty containers back as a punishment for my lack of orienting skills. Knackering work!

Once loaded onto Valkyrie and bunks selected we were summoned to the Galley where Rob went through the boat rules.

• They’re Helen’s knives not screwdrivers or scissors and not to be used by us mere mortals
• No tap dancing on the hatch before 0700 or Helen will tap dance on your head
• No wet kit in the lounge
• No coaxing Doug in to the galley
• No using the upstairs shower when the genny is off
• No dive kit in the camera bath
• No OC kit on the Rebreather bench
• No sofnalime being spread across the deck (please take special note)
• Stay out of the engine room and compressor room – it hurts when they mangle you
• A quick review of diving signals
• A quick discussion about expected run times

All done it was time for a small group of us to go hunting food. The wise ones in the group ate on the ferry. Try as we might we couldn’t find the fish and chip van. (Maybe cos it didn’t arrive until Friday!) And so the not so wise headed to the Ferry Inn. We got there too late as food stopped being served at 2130 . The manager managed to ferret together the last bits of soup and bread for us and we supplemented that by purchasing all the nuts and crisps as well as a couple of pints of beer
Fed, watered and having interacted with the locals (at one point we thought Smashie had found a bedmate for the week) we headed back to the boat and the cosy warmth of our bunks – tomorrow the fun begins.

Sunday 16th September

I awake sometime in the middle of the night and reach across to the cubby hole to retrieve my watch “thonk” my bonce meets the roof of the cabin. The fog clears and I remember where I am. 0327, bugger! I roll over and drift off to sleep.

I awake to a sound of water, rising “thonk” bugger still on a boat I see! Check the watch 0414. I drift off again but this time when I awake it’s a healthier 0640 and I remember the ceiling.

I get up and head up to the lounge. Treddie has obviously fallen out with Smashie as he’s asleep on the sofa! I wander out onto the deck. Feck me it’s cold. I head back down to my cabin and grab a hoodie. Back on deck I have a quick gander round. It’s cold but looking ok otherwise.

We all convene in the galley and make polite conversation over tea and toast. My breakfast special is going down nicely. Toast with peanut butter and marmite! NOM! A couple of comments about how disgusting it is but just as many about how they’ll try it. A few sensible peeps do and realise I speak the truth! The other gastronomic delight of mine is peanut butter and banana sandwich drizzled with marmite. Go on you know you want to try it!

It’s not long before Hazel and Rob rock up and the boat heads out to the first site.

I’m busy convening with nature as Hazel calls us all to the lounge for a dive briefing. I don’t hear the call but I’m a bit mutt and jeff so no surprise there. I walk into the lounge to find everyone looking at me and Hazel uttering the comment “So that concludes the dive brief”! Oops! “Just joking”

We are to dive the Karsruhe as a shakedown dive. Everybody’s kit has been rattling round on ferries and in vans so it’s probably a good start to the week to make sure nothing has broken or worked loose on the trip.

The briefing on the Karlsruhe is without doubt the most comprehensive and detailed I have ever heard a skipper give. Having become so used to hearing the few morsels we normally get “Shot’s about there, wreck points x to y, no current and she’s well broken up” I am blown away with the level of detail and information Hazel provides us with. It’s clearly a passion for her.

The shot is near the bow, tied into one of the 5.9inch guns meaning you don’t have to travel far to find them! We head further off to the bow checking out the anchor capstan winches before heading back. I take a few diversions off to what would be the starboard side if the ship were upright. Heading aft we pass the guns again and the armoured control. The bridge is fairly heavily broken up and isn’t too recognisable as what it once was. You then come to the area of salvage that was once the engine room.

To borrow a quote from Tufty “It never ceases to amaze me how salvors could blow great holes in wrecks and then go back down and know exactly what bits were of value”!

Further aft we come across a stern capstan winch and then spend a little time looking at the mine laying tubes before heading shallower and back to the shot to surface. A cracking start. We surface and de-kit and a mug of hot tea is thrust into my cold hands. Ahhh heaven, I relish the hot liquid warming me slowly from the core. We’re scheduled to dive the F2 & YC21 in the afternoon so Rob rushes round taking gas orders for the second dive.

A short while later the bell is rung and we convene in the Galley for the feast. In the immortal lines of The Eagles we “stab it with our steely knives but” we “just can’t kill the beast”. Helen’s cooking is not just fabulous, it’s abundant and I feel almost guilty of the amount of food we’ve left behind although I’m assured not a scrap goes to waste. We also get a chance to become aquainted with the hot sauces. “One f*ckin drop at a time” is not bad for a kiddie sauce. I add a couple and taste. In the end around 6-8 is about right for me.

Over lunch we’re treated once again to a first class briefing on the next dive. Soon after lunch it’s time to kit up again and drop in on the wreck. Treddie and I decide to take our stages in and have a run through on Gas Switching as he’s on a new computer.

Von Biggus, Treddie and I drop in and follow the shot down to the wreck below. It comes into view quite quickly as the viz is not to bad at around 5-8m horizontal and 10-12m vertical. We have a good mooch around the barge before heading off to the F2. After one circuit the current is picking up, we have a quick look at one of the high speed winches in between the barge and F2 before heading back to the barge.

It’s knackering work finning against the flow and in the end we decide to head back to the surface. We get to 6m and practice the switch without any problems.

Back on board we dekit and place our orders for the morning dive and set about recounting the dives and our various encounters. Having showered and changed and returned to port we congregate in the lounge before the bell summons us to dinner. A fantastic three course feast follows and the gauntlet is cast down as to whether Tufty will gain weight or not this week.

After dinner Tufty, Smashie, Wee Pete and I head to the Ferry Bridge Inn to assume our position by the bar for a couple of well earned pints. It’s tough going drinking after the feast we’ve just indulged ourselves in but somehow we manage it.

Suitably fed and watered we retire back to the boat for some further banter before retiring to our bunks to dream of the diving to come.

--------------End of Pt I ---------------------

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Monday 17th September

We rise from our pits between 06:30 and 08:00 and the general banter follows over breakfast, which is a modest affair as most of us are still full from dinner last night. The first dive is due to be the Brummer. Hazel summons us all to the lounge about 45 minutes prior to dive time and takes us over the points of interest. Once again it’s a first class briefing.

We assemble on deck and faff around putting kit on, checking gauges, untying poor muppets that have left their rigs tethered to the bench. It’s rapidly becoming clear that we didn’t think through the bench seating when we set kit up. Tufty has more or less a whole bench to himself (well no one really wants to be next to a box that could self destruct at any minute). Scrappy Doo and Mrs. C have another bench to themselves. So on one side of the boat is a single cylinder diver, a twinset diver and a diver with a conscientious objector strapped to his back – or should that read Sentinel. Then there’s three bereaver divers, three divers with twinsets and stages and two with just twinsets. Hmmm….that’s eleven divers and no room…..how does that work….”who’s for throwing Rob and Helen’s kit over board?”…..OK that’ll be no-one then, we just should have organised ourselves better!

Finally we’re ready. We shuffle and waddle to the gangplank. “Get the F*** off my boat” or I think that’s what Rob said but the size 10 footprint on the arse of my drysuit was more of a concern. (OK maybe that’s editorial licensing for you)!

We drop down the shot. The vis is great still and soon the wreck takes shape in the gloom below. We’re just aft of the Armoured Control. The bow of the ship has split away and dropped to the seabed and part of the deck has peeled away. The bridge structure reminds me of an old fashioned iron bedstead. We head forward to the 150mm gun then onto the anchor capstans. Turning round we head to the stern and as we pass the 150mm gun I head away from the wreck. As I write this now I can’t for the life of me remember what I was looking for but Hazel told us it was about 5m off the wreck near the mast. I know I saw what she told us about but I should have written this immediately after the dive rather than now a week later!

About 10m away from the wreck between the 150mm gun and the bridge I see what I can only describe as a bell shape. I get quite excited by this and make a mental note to ask when I get back to the surface.

We head further back past the mast and another gun before coming across a salvage area. Remembering the briefing that this area housed the mine deck we poke our heads in but if I’m honest I couldn’t make anything out but mangled mess of metal. At the stern we come to the aft guns and have a good rummage around before heading up along the port side of the wreck back to the shot.

Back on board I ask Rob about the Bell. Nope they’ve all been recovered

Lunch is the mother of all fry ups – to try and list what we had would take up the rest of this trip report. I think we could have fed the world on this meal! Suffice to say the Haggis was phenomenal.

Following lunch we kit up and drop in on the next wreck - The Dresden. The descent down the shot is a little busy so I hitch a lift down on the back of Smashie’s JJ. All I can hear on the way down is “F___ Off and stop kicking me!”. As the wreck looms into view I drop off the shot and speed past Smashie and Nicey. This wreck has its’ bows in 28m and stern around 10m deeper so we head straight to the stern. The officer’s quarters reveal a bath tub – filled with water, although I think Tufty has removed the plug now.

Two more 150 mm guns sit at the stern, one on top of the officer’s quarters and one behind. Heading forward towards the bow we pass the bricks that lined the boilers and come to the bridge. We peek inside the armoured control and I have to say I could have spent the whole dive peeking in the various holes trying to see what the whole inner would have looked like when this ship was intact. Unless my memory has played tricks on me this was the most intact of all the armoured controls and I am sure I could see various dials and wiring. It was fascinating.

Heading towards the bow the anchor chain drapes out of the starboard hawse pipe, over the top of the deck and under the port side before trailing off to the seabed, a feature of the way the ship must have rolled as it sunk. We were told you could see the shield on the starboard side, we looked but I could not make out what anything was because there was an almighty anemone orgy going on. I can just imagine the postcard now “Hi Mum, having a great time in Scapa just swam through anemone cum!”

All too soon it’s back to the surface. “Tea, Coffee, Hot Chocolate?” Rob asks as I shuffle over to the bench to dekit. I figure it’s time to try a chocolate. Kerching….right choice. It comes with marshmallows!!! I feel like a kid again!

Smashie surfaces and after dekitting I ask him what took him so long to get down onto the wreck! I shan’t repeat the words used but I have been renamed the Valkyrie Express!

Back in port a few of us head out for a mooch around and to pick up postcards before dinner, a couple of beers and then bed.

18th September 2012

We awake to a somewhat overcast morning. The usual banter is flying around the breakfast table and everyone is in high spirits. Today is going to be a slightly different format. The first dive is to be the James Barrie but because of the fact that it’s not really suitable for our Sport Divers there is to be another two dives. The UB116 straight after the Barrie for the divers that can’t do the Barrie and then after lunch the HMS Roedean.

After the dive briefing those of us diving the Barrie head out to the deck to kit up. I get my suit on and start kitting up. I’m half way into my rig when I look at my wrist. “Bugger, no computers”. I head back to the lounge and ask someone inside to pass them out. Just as I’m putting on my back up I hear a crash and my name being yelled.

My twinset has just cartwheeled across the deck – STRIKE ONE!

“DAMN! I forgot to retether it when I went to get my computer”. I get it back on the bench and check it over. No damage evident thank God. The boat is pitching and rolling a little and Rob says it’s touch and go whether we’re going to do the dive. OK no problem I have a little more time.

One last check over. “Pop! Whoosh” a LP hose is flailing everywhere and air is pissing out. I shut the set down.

My back up reg has come flying off – STRIKE TWO!

I screw it back on and check the primary, it’s loose but fully threaded to the hose. I decide that my days of leaving the regs on hand tight are over. If that had happened under water I’d have lost a fair bit of gas I reckon even though I know I can shutdown fine. I repressurise the rig. Only 8 – 10 bar lost or 240 litres!
Rob tells us the dive is a go.

I kit up as quickly as I can as I’m now a few steps behind my buddies regarding kitting up. I finish kitting up and head to the gate.

We head down the shot and at 6m I check the computer.

“OH Bollocks! I’ve got the wrong gas programmed in” - STRIKE THREE – YOU’RE OUT

I signal to Von Biggus and Treddie – I’m aborting they can head on down without me. On the surface I signal to the boat to pick me up.
Back on board Rob consoles me “UB116 is a good dive......... honest”!

I de-kit and contemplate what to do, whether to dive the UB116 or sit out until HMS Roedean or whether to can the day. “Hmm – time for a pee whilst I deliberate”.

I head to the lift and pop my leg out. I start to pee and then open the valve………………………..”OH BUGGER….someone unzip me NOW!”.

Gentleman Jules obliges and I frantically clamour for the head whilst trying to get my suit off over my head. Onuf's nucleus long ago became inhibited and I’m desperately trying to re-tighten the external urinary sphincter. The pressure is building up and I’m holding onto everything. I get into the head, pull the suit down to my knees and look down “WHAT THE F___!”. At some point between putting the catheter on that morning and getting out of my suit now the suit fairies have chopped my knob off and replaced it with something resembling an elephant’s trunk. I pinch the end and disconnect. Finally a wave of relief washes over me (pardon the pun), I can honestly say a piss has never felt so good as right now and it seems to last forever!

I’d somehow managed to twist and kink the end of the catheter. - STRIKE FOUR – That’s it, time to can it for the day.

----------------End of Pt II ---------------

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19th September 2012

After breakfast I agree a dive plan with Von Biggus and Treddie. Von Biggus reminds me to program in my gases this time. Cue sheepish look from me. “Yeah it’ll be nice if you actually stay with us on this one!” say Treddie.

We kit up and get ready to jump in on the Kronprinz Willhelm. It’s going to be two waves of divers 7 in wave one and 4 in wave two. I jump in with wave 1. Finning hard against the current to get to the shot is knackering and by the time I get there I’m really out of breath.

We descend down and I get to about 7m and realise if I keep breathing at the rate I am I’ll end up with a CO2 hit so I signal to my buddy’s that I’m out of breath and that they should continue without me.

Back on the surface I wait as wave 2 gets put in and help them onto the shot. Wee Pete is out of breath as he reaches it and is about to head down when I stop him and advise him to get his breath back before descending. I then decide to join them and head down.

As we reach the bottom I see Treddie and Von Biggus. I wave goodbye to Gentleman Jules and Wee Pete and hello to Treddie and Von Biggus. Treddie does a double take. They’ve just come out of the area where the 12” guns are. I’m not too concerned as I saw them during my last visit in 2008. We head off to the casement guns and have a potter around.

It’s not long before Nicey joins us, I guess he and Smashie had a tiff. A few minutes later Treddie signals that he’s not happy and wants to ascend. I agree to go up with him.

We start the ascent but it’s clear that Treddie is task loaded with the reel, the ascent, monitoring his ascent rate and switch depths so I take the reel from him and we ascend to the switch depth. We’re there for an age before he signals to the next stop. My computer has now cleared but Treddie is still on stops on his. Finally after an age he signals the all clear and then signals a stop….”what now?”! The other computer wants a safety stop for 3 minutes. No problem. We hang there waiting for the stop to clear and I see a huge jellyfish behind Treddie. I say nothing….it looks big and mean and he looks pissed off.

We finally surface and get picked up “So are you logging that as one or two dives” asks Rob!!

Treddie explains that he couldn’t switch one of the computers over on the gas switch so had to run the stop on the computer on back gas even though he was on 50% and then when that had cleared the Suunto which he had switched decided that he had to do a 3 minute safety stop.

During the de-kit Treddie mentioned that his lips were tingling. I told him about the Jellyfish and offered to piss on his lips. He didn’t take me up on my offer.

After lunch we kit up for the second dive of the day the Coln. Treddie opts to sit out the dive so it’s just Von Biggus and I.

We drop down the shot to the davits and then drop down to the bridge. Being the sister ship to the Dresden the layout is similar but this wreck is much more intact. We head to the bow and then up to the port side where, as briefed by Hazel, we find a large opening and drop into what I’d call the Death Star trench run. There are exit points everywhere but it’s a great swim through and the area is absolutely swarming with fish. As we fin through it’s like curtains of fish opening in front of us to show the way.

We reach the armoured control and I peer into and underneath it. The pathway beneath is dark and intriguing but a warning flash from Von Biggus reminds me that we’re advised against going into that part of the wreck without proper training and equipment.

We head over the top of the armoured control and pop out near the bridge. Heading aft we pass the 88mm high elevation gun. Not really an anti-aircraft gun as such more an anti-balloon gun.

Heading further aft across the salvaged area of the engine room the route takes almost a slight left turn which is probably as a result of the explosion during salvaging works. We come to the officer’s quarters, guess what…some bugger’s left the tap on again!

The 150mm aft guns are fairly impressive with one pointing slightly to the sea bed and the other slightly to the surface. We travel back to the shot along the port side of the wreck and then head back to the surface. It’s been an amazing dive and one I definitely want to do again.

We surfaced, de-kitted and showered. Once in port Tufty and I went for a stroll round to the north of the island and took some pictures before heading back in time for dinner.

Treddie was concerned about his tingling which had spread and so he put himself on O2 before finally deciding that the best place for him was in the chamber. I went over our profile and even now can’t see what was wrong with it.

20th September 2012

Having spent the night in the chamber and been advised to have a PFO check Treddie advised that he would not be diving for the rest of the week.

Von Biggus and I prepare our plan for the Markgraf and I cut the tables. As we’re kitting up Von Biggus starts having computer problems. His computer keeps telling him he’ll only have 2’ of deco. That’s not right for a 25’ dive at 44m! Unable to fix the issue he drops out. Did we pass into the Bermuda Triangle on our way?!

Nicey tells me to join him and Smashie. I umm and ahhh until deciding to join them. I’ve been apprehensive all morning. A combination of Treddie’s bend, Garf’s “Lost at 45m on the Markgraf” story, the various kit failures as well as my own. In the end it’s Nicey reassuring face that seals the deal. That and the opportunity to hitch a ride on Smashie’s JJ on the descent again.

Kitted up we drop in on the shot. I have to say this is one of the best descents I’ve ever experienced. I’m holding the brakes on to ensure I don’t go crashing into the Smashie. Smashie and Nicey being on boxes have a much slower descent than I would normally have as I’m very negatively due to the twins, 6mm plate and the gas I’m carrying. We arrive on the bottom and I’m the calmest I’ve ever felt on a dive.

I look around the first casement gun (No 7) and Smashie heads off to the second (No 6) so I follow with Nicey behind me. We head in behind it and follow what we think is the swimthrough channel but about 15m in Smashie signals that there is no way forward. We turn and I signal Nicey to lead us out again. As we head back I notice the light behind me dimming. I turn and see Smashie hasn’t moved. Turning completely to face him I shine my torch down to see what the issue is. He signals all OK and we head out.

As we get out my narcosis kicks in. I’m on a weak nitrox mix and have been expecting to get narked but it’s the suddenness and intensity that I’m not liking. I signal to Nicey that I’ve had enough and I’ll head up. Through his loop Nicey says that we’ll ascend a bit. We start to ascend and I notice Smashie hasn’t twigged. I signal him and hold my depth. Now I’ve got Nicey heading upwards and Smashie heading to casement gun No5 or 4. I look up at Nicey and notice he’s heading into the wreck so I flash my torch across him and signal to the overhang. I turn and signal to Smashie who sees the signal and starts heading back. Ascending level with Nicey I see the shot and signal for him to buddy up with Smashie as I’ve had enough and am going up the shot.

I leave them to their own devices and head up to my switch. As I pass through 15m the feeling eases off and I start to feel incredible calm once again. I resolve to take that trimix course as soon as I can afford it! Maybe Santa will be kind and give me that Rebreather that’s on my wishlist. (Massive hint for Mrs Scuttler)!
I surface and get picked up. I enjoyed the dive and can’t wait to do it again one day but not until I’m on trimix.

During lunch Helen presents me with a Tupperware container. Inside is a bottle. HOT SAUCE!!!!! WOOO HOOO. I put one drop on my food…..oooh spicy, I like that. Another drop……mmmm,….maybe a little more. A third drop…..lush…that’s perfect now! Yep, where spicy food is concerned I’m a nutter. (some would say I could drop the “where spicy food is concerned” but I’d say they’re jealous!)

Von Biggus has fixed his computer now so we’re all set for the Seydlitz Spoil Ground. Before getting kitted up I pop into the head. “OH MY GOD…….I’M MELTING”. I’m having some kind of thermo nuclear event in my boxers! I can’t have got hot sauce on me because I’ve a catheter on so it can only be that the hot sauce is working its’ way through my system. Well at least I won’t be cold on this dive.

We drop down the shot to where the guns should be. I say should be but when we got down there we looked at where the shot was tied in but couldn’t see any guns. No worries, Hazel said “Go West!”. Von Biggus and I checked compasses and agreed that West was West…and off we went. Suffice to say HMS Seabed was not the most interesting of dives. We saw loads of juvenile queen scallops - they seem far more active in the flow than the king scallops we have around the waters of Weymouth and Portland. You only have to pass over them and they’re off swimming away.

We passed over quite a few velvet swimming crabs. What is it with little crabs that makes them so aggressive. They’re all up on their back legs waving their claws about as if to say “Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough”. I teased a few with my torch beam before getting bored and yawning at Von Biggus. We decided enough was enough, we’re crap navigators so we might as well call time.

Back on board most of the group had managed to see a fair bit of the wreckage on offer so I was relegated to dunces corner for the evening!

21st September 2012

We awoke on our final dive day buzzing. The previous night we’d had a ballot to select the dives for the day. There wasn’t really much of a decision to make as it was almost unanimous. The Coln was to be revisited.

We kitted up and headed down the shot, flying past Smashie and Nicey with a two fingered salute as we went. Von Biggus and I had already decided that most people would go through exactly the same route as they had the first time so we were going to head straight off to the stern. At the bottom of the shot we turned right and went past the high elevation gun then onto 150mm guns and officers quarters. We then headed a little further astern and I noticed a hole in the decking (well it was hard to miss really but I hadn’t noticed it on the first dive). I popped my head in. It looked like something that with the right training and equipment would be a great exploration and I could see a massive square container. I’m not sure what it was but I made a note to ask when I got back to the surface.

Heading back to the bow we looked for the amidships 150mm gun but couldn’t see it. Maybe I’m blind. Then my main torch decided to die on me (I thought I had enough battery left for 45 minutes but that wasn’t the case) so I switched to my back up. The vis was good and we could still see each other without torches at 4-5m so I decided to carry on.

We searched for and found the opening near the bridge for the swim through. Initially I thought I wouldn’t get through with the stage and twinset and signalled that to Von Biggus but then rotated slightly and got in. We headed toward the bow, or so I thought we did. As I passed over CC and Tufty who were travelling Bow to Stern I looked round and couldn’t see Von Biggus so turned round and retraced my finstrokes, giving Tufty a reassuring pat on the head as I exited the swim through.

Von Biggus and I met again midway between the armoured control and the bow. We decided to carry on forward and go through the swim through in the conventional way. If it was possible, there were even more fish in there on this dive. I felt like I was getting slapped by them as I swam through the aquarium!

We reached the end of our agreed bottom time and although I wanted to do another circuit we headed to the shot which conveniently was tied into the davits at 21m.

As we were switching I noticed a leak at the hose on my stage reg right where it connects to the reg. Looking closer I saw that the reg was hanging on by its’ last two threads. I nonchalantly screwed it back on whilst gently cursing myself. The rest of the ascent was uneventful and we surfaced and were picked up. Note to self....hand tight is not enough....nip em up with a spanner in future!

I’d decided that I’d just experienced my best ever dive in the flow and couldn’t see how the Bottle Run would top that so called it a day and stripped my kit down. To be honest I was a little cold by the end of the week and ready for a decent shower and several pints!

That night we met Helen and Rob in the Stromness Hotel for a few beers and to thank them for their sterling efforts that week.

MV Valkyrie is without doubt the best crewed boat in the Flow and I’d argue that it’s the best crew I’ve ever dived with. The operation is slick and well managed without being overbearing or restrictive. They really do move heaven and earth to make sure you have a great time and everything runs to clockwork. I think that the crew of the MV Valkyrie really sets the Gold Standard not just for diving in the Flow but for diving anywhere in the UK. I’ve been diving for 14 years now and I can honestly say that I’ve never dived with a better crew. Thanks to Hazel, Helen and Rob for giving us the best diving holiday many of us have ever experienced. We will be back…that is a threat

[crazycatlady]

I've my first Scapa trip booked with the Valkyrie for August, this trip report has me wishing it was sooner!! Thanks.

[Hot Totty]

I've my first Scapa trip booked with the Valkyrie for August, this trip report has me wishing it was sooner!! Thanks.

You'll love it, superbe boat superbe crew and the diving s not bad either

[Major Clanger]

I've my first Scapa trip booked with the Valkyrie for August, this trip report has me wishing it was sooner!! Thanks.

Start losing weight now to offset what you'll put on.

[crazycatlady]

Start losing weight now to offset what you'll put on.

Oh no! My drysuit is already a little 'snug'.

[dwhitlow]

You'll love it, superbe boat superbe crew and the diving s not bad either

Completely agree. The other great thing about Scapa is you rarely get blown out

For each of the last 4 years I have spent a week on Valkyrie and I'm booked again this year

Last year we were treated to fabulous conditions and Simon brown was on board to capture the moment

Decosnapper's pictures